To bE HuRuL_AiNi

Dibawah sebahagian petikan akhbar mengenai berita yang menggemparkan Britain Februari lalu. Ya, walaupun Alfie disahkan bukan bapa kepada bayi tersebut, tapi paparan berita-berita ini cukup menunjukkan kehancuran moral masyarakat sekarang. Bayangkan budak berusia 12 tahun sudah terjebak pada gejala sosial hingga berkebarangkalian mempunyai anak. Dalam kes ini, bapa sebenar Maisie masih tidak diketahui kerana ada beberapa remaja lelaki lain mengaku turut mempunyai hubungan dengan Chantelle yang baru berusia 15 tahun.

Inilah natijahnya bilamana moral & akhlak kita sudah tidak dijaga lagi. Di Malaysia juga kita sering mendengar anak-anak remaja yang mengaku Islam, tetapi sudah hilang dara atau terunanya walau usia baru akil baligh. Berapa ramai yang berhenti sekolah & kahwin muda hanya kerana sudah membawa nyawa lain di perut. Mungkin kita akan katakan “Oh, itu budak-budak bodoh yang tidak tahu menjaga diri” atau ayat-ayat seumpanya.

Namun kita lupa amaran Allah “Jangan kamu hampiri zina. Sesungguhnya ia adalah perkara yang keji dan seburuk-buruk jalan kehidupan” [al-Israa' 17: 32]

Aku bukan orang yang terbaik untuk berbicara perkara sebegini. Namun akal yang waras & iman yang nipis ini tidak mampu tidak untuk menyuarakan apa yang terbuku dihati. Anda mahukah jika anda sendiri, ahli keluarga atau anak-anak anda nanti menjadi sebegini?

Aku ingin membawa senario remaja & belia-belia di sekeliling kita terutama sebagai seorang Islam. Secara jujur, aku tidak suka melihat pasangan kekasih yang bebas berpegangan tangan. Ada yang tidak segan silu bergambar dengan gaya seolah berpelukan. Ya, itu kononnya kebebasan setiap individu. Itu hak perempuan lupa diri yang secara terpaksa-rela memberi lesen dosa kepada kekasihnya. Itu hak lelaki yang tidak mengerti maksud menghormati wanita mengambil kesempatan atas ‘rezeki’ yang diterima. Ya, mereka katakan “alah..dah nama couple, pegang-pegang tu wajib la…”, “sentuhan tu tanda kasih sayang” atau “terharu sangat boyfriend I genggam tangan I tadi, terasa sangat kasih sayang dia”.

Wahai perempuan-perempuan di luar sana, fikirkan:

- sebulan couple pegang-pegang tangan saja

- tiga bulan couple, boleh peluk pinggang

- enam bulan couple, jarang sungguh jumpa…jom spend night together kat hotel…bukan buat apa, tolong potong kuku je

- setahun couple, alaa..kita memang akan kahwin pun..apa salah ‘buat’ sekarang…kalau you tak nak retinya you tak sayang I…

Ya, itu senario yang mungkin berlaku & telah berlaku kepada orang-orang disekeliling kita. Bila rasa cinta terlalu mendalam, buta hati kita menilai syariat & hukum. Kalah diri kita pada nafsu.

Dan remaja-remaja sekolah yang baru mengenal dunia, tertipu bahawa bercinta adalah satu elemen wajib yang perlu dilalui di alam remaja. Maka berkejar-kejar mereka mencari pasangan walaupun di hati tidak mengerti etri cinta. Menurut saja budaya keluar date, bergayut, berSMS & sewaktu dengannya walau hati tiada secubit perasaan. Yang penting, dirinya melengkapi budaya. Mula-mula bercinta cuma ditabur kata-kata manis. Dan bila sudah memperhamba diri pada cinta, mulalah syaitan menyucuk racun ke segala urat saraf.

Itulah permulaan bagi zina, maka dengan itu Allah tegah kita dari menghampiri zina. Ya, percayalah…sentuhan tangan itu bisa membawa kepada zina. Maka kembalilah kita memuhasabah diri, beginikah cinta yang diredhai Allah. Sedang Allah sudah melarang kita memperhamba diri pada nafsu & cinta, maka tidak hairanlah jika nanti nikmat cinta itu ditarik semula.

Dulu sering sahabat-sahabatku berkata, pendidikan seorang anak itu bermula sejak sebelum kita berkahwin lagi. Kita sering berangan mahukan jodoh & anak-anak yang baik. Ya, itu baik & bagus sekali. Namun kita sering pura-pura lupa bahawa “lelaki yang baik adalah untuk perempuan yang baik, dan perempuan yang baik adalah untuk lelaki yang baik.”

Kaum perempuan sering impikan lelaki yang soleh, alim & baik menjadi suami. Namun jika aurat diri tidak ditutup, & akhlak tidak dijaga, lelaki soleh mana yang mahu masuk meminang. Kaum lelaki pula mahu isteri solehah, isteri yang taat & baik. Tapi jika perangai diri tak tentu hala, akankah diterima pinangan? Ya, ini common sense yang kita selalu buat-buat lupa.

Dan mengenai pendidikan anak-anak generasi baru, berjayakah nanti mendidik anak-anak menghafal al-Quran jika masa lapang kita diisi dengan hanya berblogging atau melayan drama korea? Pastinya lagu Korea lebih mudah dihafal berbanding al-QUran jika itu yang menjadi halwa telinga kita seharian. Kerana itulah, jika kita inginkan anak-anak kita jauh dari kehancuran moral seperti yang berlaku di Britain kini, maka bermula sekaranglah kita perlu mendidik diri.

Segala yang baik datangnya dari Allah, & yang buruk dari diri yang kurang ilmu & amal. Entri ini sebagai peringatan diri, agar tidak leka dengan duniawi & tidak lupa diri. Wallualam.

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1) ARTICLE FROM THE SUN Published: 13 Feb 2009

[http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece]

Baby-faced boy Alfie Patten is father at 13

By LUCY HAGAN

BOY dad Alfie Patten yesterday admitted he does not know how much nappies cost – but said: “I think it’s a lot.”

Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.

He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant.

The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby.

“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10.”

Alfie, who is just 4ft tall, added: “When my mum found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react.

“I didn’t know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it.”

Alfie’s dad Dennis told how the lad does not really understand the enormity of his situation – but seemed desperate to be a devoted and responsible father.

Secret

He wanted to be the first to hold Maisie after the hospital birth. He tenderly kisses the baby and gives her a bottle.

And Dennis, 45, said: “He could have shrugged his shoulders and sat at home on his Playstation. But he has been at the hospital every day.”

Maisie was conceived after Chantelle and Alfie – just 12 at the time – had a single night of unprotected sex.

They found out about the baby when Chantelle was 12 weeks pregnant.

But they kept it a secret until six weeks later when Chantelle’s mum Penny, 38, became suspicious about her weight gain and confronted her.

After that Alfie’s family told only those closest to them for fear he would be “demonised” at school.

Chantelle gave birth to Maisie on Monday night after a five-hour labour at Eastbourne Hospital, East Sussex.

Last night she told The Sun: “I’m tired after the birth. I was nervous after going into labour but otherwise I was quite excited.”

Chantelle told how she discovered she was expecting after going to her GP with “really bad” stomach pains. She said: “Me and Alfie went. The doctor asked me whether we had sex. I said yes and he said I should do a pregnancy test. He did the test and said I was pregnant. I started crying and didn’t know what to do.

“He said I should tell my mum but I was too scared.

“We didn’t think we would need help from our parents. You don’t really think about that when you find out you are pregnant. You just think your parents will kill you.”

But Penny figured out what was going on after buying Chantelle a T-shirt which revealed her swelling tum.

Chantelle admitted she and Alfie – who are both being supported by their parents – would be accused of being grossly irresponsible. She said: “We know we made a mistake but I wouldn’t change it now. We will be good loving parents.

“I have started a church course and I am going to do work experience helping other young mums.

“I’ll be a great mum and Alfie will be a great dad.”

Chantelle and Maisie were released from hospital yesterday. They are living with Penny, Chantelle’s jobless dad Steve, 43, and her five brothers in a rented council house in Eastbourne. The family live on benefits. Alfie, who lives on an estate across town with mum Nicola, 43, spends most of his time at the Steadmans’ house.

He is allowed to stay overnight and even has a school uniform there so he can go straight to his classes in the morning.

Alfie’s dad, who is separated from Nicola, believes the lad is scared deep down.

He said: “Everyone is telling him things and it’s going round in his head. It hasn’t really dawned on him. He hasn’t got a clue of what the baby means and can’t explain how he feels. All he knows is mum and dad will help.

“When you mention money his eyes look away. And she is reliant on her mum and dad. It’s crazy. They have no idea what lies ahead.”

Dennis, who works for a vehicle recovery firm, described Alfie as “a typical 13-year-old boy”.

He said: “He loves computer games, boxing and Manchester United.” Dennis, who has fathered nine kids, told how he was “gobsmacked” when he discovered Alfie was to be a dad, too.

He said: “When I spoke to him he started crying. He said it was the first time he’d had sex, that he didn’t know what he was doing and of the complications that could come.

“I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk. Some may say it’s too late but he needs to understand so there is not another baby.”

Lovely

Chantelle’s mum said: “I told her it was lovely to have the baby but I wish it was in different circumstances. We have five children already so it’s a big financial responsibility. But we are a family and will pull together and get through.

“She’s my daughter. I love her and she will want for nothing.”

Last night Michaela Aston, of the anti-abortion Christian charity LIFE, said: “We commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world.

“At the same time this is symptomatic of the over-sexualisation of our youngsters and shows the policy of value-free sex education just isn’t working.”

Today Sussex Police and the local council’s children services said they have investigated the case and pledged continued support for the young parents.

Britain’s youngest known father is Sean Stewart. He became a dad at 12 when the girl next door, 15-year-old Emma Webster, gave birth in Sharnbrook, Bedford, in 1998. They split six months later.

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2) PARTIAL REPORT FROM : DAILYMAIL (14th February 2009)

And rumours began circulating in Chantelle’s neighbourhood that Alfie was not Maisie’s father.

Sean Thomas, who lives opposite the Stedmans, claimed Chantelle had already had several boyfriends, who were allowed to stay over in her bedroom.

He said: ‘She’s been with quite a few lads. They are allowed to sleep over at her house, her parents don’t mind. She is treated like an adult and can do what she wants.’

Another neighbour, who did not wish to be named, said: ‘The Stedmans let the kids run wild on the street until all hours, they have no control over them.’

A 17-year-old called Jake said: ‘She knows lots of boys and never has the same boyfriend for long. Alfie lives with her and seems to think he’s the dad but we all think he should have a DNA test.’

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3) www.telegraph.co.uk

Schoolboy father: Alfie Patten ‘distraught’ at claims Maisie not his

By Lucy Cockcroft

Nicola Patten, 43, the 13-year-old’s mother, said he had not doubted the paternity of the week-old child until now.

But on Sunday two boys, aged 14 and 16, both claimed they could be the father of 15-year-old Chantelle Steadman’s daughter.

Several others have also claimed to have had a sexual relationship with the schoolgirl, from Eastbourne in Sussex.

Mrs Patten told The Mirror: “He’s absolutely devastated these lads have come forward to say they slept with her at the time she got pregnant. Everything is wrong.

“Now that is in his mind and I’m not happy. I don’t know where they get this from. I mean, that’s my son, that’s his baby.

“Alfie is distraught and upset about everything. But Maisie is fine.”

The Patten family have now accepted that a DNA test is needed to confirm the paternity.

Max Clifford, the publicist who is representing Alfie and his family, said: “Nicola has agreed that DNA tests are the best way to resolve the issue of paternity.

“It is inevitable there are going to be doubts, particularly with the number of boys who’ve come forward claiming to have had sex with Chantelle.

“There is one boy in particular who does seem to have a stronger resemblance to the child.”

It was reported last week that Alfie was the youngest father in Britain following the birth of Maisie, who was conceived when Alfie was 12-years-old.

Politicians including David Cameron spoke about the situation, and said it raised “worrying” questions about modern society.

It was disclosed that Alfie and Chantelle had routinely been allowed to share a bed.

Two more teenagers have since said that they too had spent the night in Chantelle’s room.

Richard Goodsell, 16, a trainee chef, claims to have had a three-month relationship with the schoolgirl.

He said: “I know I could be the father. Everyone thinks I am. My friends all tell me that baby has my eyes– even my mum thinks so.”

And Tyler Barker, 14, also insists he had a sexual relationship with Chantelle.

He said: “I slept with Chantelle in her bed about nine months ago and I’m really worried I could be the father.”

However, Chantelle and her family claim the two boys are lying and insist Alfie is the only boyfriend she has had.

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4) THE HERALD SUN: http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,25250230-663,00.html

DNA test shows 13-year-old Alfie Patten is not a dad

A DNA test showed a 13-year-old boy in Britain is not the father of a baby born to a 15-year-old he had unprotected sex with once.

Chantelle Stedman told Alfie Patten, who was 12 when he slept with her, he was her newborn daughter Maisie’s father.

The story caused a worldwide media frenzy after it was first reported by Britain’s Sun newspaper, while politicians criticised what they called Britain’s declining morals.

At first Stedman said Patten was the only boy she had ever slept with, but soon after other teens came forward saying they too could be the baby’s father, because they claimed to have had sex with the girl.

It is still not clear who the baby’s father is.

Last month a friend of the Stedman family claimed Patten was scammed by the girl’s parents who wanted to cash in on the sensational story.